I spend a lot of time wondering these days. I am prompted to wonder when questions come to mind
about both the troubles and the mysteries of life. These are musings that often do not have
easy answers, but given some time for reflection, understanding may become
clearer. Taking a quiet walk, for
example, often clears the mind. In
Spanish there is not a direct equivalent for “to wonder”, but instead the phrase
me pregunto (I ask myself) is an excellent way to describe the beginning
of an internal dialogue with oneself.
In fact, some questions will never be answered in this
life. Recently I was wondering about whatever
happened to Dan Gerber. Dan was a young
Mennonite volunteer working in a hospital in the highlands of Vietnam many
years ago. That was before our time in
Vietnam, so I didn’t know him, but the story of his disappearance was
haunting. He was abducted by Vietcong
insurgents and was never heard of again.
I think of the suffering and wondering his family went through for years
– not knowing what happened to him.
In the present time I am troubled by political rhetoric and
violence and wonder how this is going to end; I have questions like the one
Parker Palmer posed in one of his books: “Why do some citizens say they love
democracy, but constantly put it at risk with name-calling, fear-mongering and
ruthless scapegoating?”[i]
Parker Palmer said that he became a writer because he was
born baffled. He wrote, “Like writing,
faith has a way of dealing with things that baffle us until we look at them
through new eyes. By faith we understand
that the visible has its origin in the invisible”. (Heb. 11:3).
Bafflement is sometimes my state of mind these days and this
causes me to wonder: Are there any
leaders out there who can inspire us out of our predicament? I am somewhat
addicted to reading New York Times commentators who give opinions about
baffling questions – and I suppose I mostly read the writers who tend to
reinforce my perspective. But in truth,
I don’t look just to so-called liberal writers, I find consul in some
conservatives too. Millions apparently get
their information from the internet where truth can be hard to discern – do
people wonder if what they read and hear is really true? Not enough apparently.
Wondering is akin to pondering. One of my favorite images from the Gospels is
that of Mary “pondering these things in her heart”. One translation reads, Mary was deeply
disturbed (by the words of the angel) and wondered what they might mean. Luke
1:29
One definition of the word wonder is a feeling of
amazement and admiration, caused by something beautiful, remarkable or
unfamiliar. Richard Rohr describes wondering as “standing
in disbelief, standing in the question; standing in awe”.[ii]
He says that letting these three
“standings” remain open inside is a good way to grow spiritually.
Isn’t it great that we are created with minds that allow us
to ponder and appreciate the wonders of life we encounter every day? Wondering can lead to hope rather than
despair, peace rather than turmoil. In
the face of the baffling questions, I recommend taking a few minutes each day
to sit in quiet contemplation, breathe deeply, welcome the Indwelling Spirit
and embrace the moment just as it is. It can be wonderful.
