Cross Cultural Communications

During the many years I worked in other cultures and with other languages I encountered numerous situations in which I had difficulty communicating.  And a few times when I made big mistakes and was frustrated in my inability to communicate.

This is the reason why organization that send missionaries, volunteers, or professional and technical experts to other countries provide (or should provide) cross-cultural and language training. 

A 1958 book titled "The Ugly American" by Eugene Burdick and William Lederer made this point. (it was made into a movie starring Marlon Brando in 1963).   The book presented, in a fictionalized form, the experience of Americans in Southeast Asia (Vietnam) and allegedly portrays several real people who are represented by pseudonyms. We were advised to read it before we went to Vietnam in 1966.

The following story from long time friend and former colleague, Bill Herod, is humorous and also instructive.  Judy and I have a few stories from our own experiences, which I may share at a later time.  I assure you that Bill eventually came to speak Vietnamese fluently and was not an ugly American.  In fact, Bill still lives in Southeast Asia and has dedicated his whole life to working with and living among the people in Vietnam and Cambodia. Enjoy.    

If you have some of your own stories of communication "mishaps" to share, please do so and I could post them on this blog for other to enjoy and learn from. (with your permission)

 

Flying Machines

“The single biggest problem in communication is the illusion that it has taken place.” ~George Bernard Shaw

As I began my community development work in Viet-Nam many years ago, my conversational ability in the Vietnamese language was basic and my technical vocabulary was virtually non-existent.

In the Vietnamese language, a machine is often named for the function it performs. Thus, a typewriter is a “word pounding machine,” an airplane is a “flying machine,” and so forth. We do this in English sometimes also: washing machine, fax machine, and so forth. In both Vietnamese and English, a machine used for sewing is a “sewing machine.” A machine that flies, however, is an “airplane” in English and a “flying machine” in Vietnamese. The Vietnamese words for “to sew” [may] and “to fly” [bay] are similar . . . and I got them confused. When I meant to say “sew,” I was actually saying “fly” and when I thought I was talking about “sewing machines,” I was actually talking about “airplanes.”

With this confusion deeply embedded in my brain, I ventured into a refugee camp on the outskirts of Tam-Ky to see if I could find some people who would be interested in learning to use sewing machines.

After the requisite cups of tea and polite conversation with the respected camp elders, I casually asked if anyone in the camp knew how to “fly.” Looking at each other and at me in some confusion, they asked me to repeat the question. “Does anyone in the camp know how to fly?” Well, that was a bit of a conversation stopper. I realized they didn’t seem to know where I was headed, so I tried to clarify: “You know, I think we could get half-a-dozen ‘airplanes’ here. Perhaps some of the women could learn to ‘fly’ with them. Also, some of the boys could learn to repair them - useful skills in Viet-Nam today and in the future.”

My hosts — and a great many villagers looking in at the door and windows — were completely baffled. The idea of putting airplanes in a refugee camp was clearly preposterous but, coming from an American, not unbelievable.

One of them finally said, “Where would you put the airplanes?” I said that we would need to discuss that because they couldn’t be kept in anyone’s home. We would need to have a special room where all of the “airplanes” would be available to everyone in the community.

That comment was particularly jarring. The suggestion that these desperately poor and vulnerable people were being asked to build a huge hangar for storing airplanes (in a war zone) was just too much.

One of the camp leaders complained that airplanes were “very big and up in the sky.”

Up in the sky, I thought. Up in the sky. Why would sewing machines be up in the sky?

I replied that we could get small “airplanes” that the women could operate with their feet while they made clothes for their families and to sell at the market.

“Sewing machines!” a laughing child exclaimed, “He’s talking about sewing machines.”

Everyone laughed, both with relief and appreciation. They were delighted with the idea of getting some sewing machines for the camp and we quickly got down to the serious business of planning the sewing project.

With cooperation and understanding, we were soon able to get the sewing project “off the ground.”

   Bill Herod,

Notes: Usually one of the first language skills we need in another culture is how to shop for food in the local market.  Judy once sent a maid out to buy flowers and she came back with apples.  (a language glitch on Judy's part)

 Besides Vietnamese, several on our team needed to learn basic Ko'ho, one of the languages of the indigenous
people of the Vietnam highlands.

We needed to have an interpreter - in this case it was Ka'kra, who spoke Ko'ho, Vietnamese and English (and I think some French).









     Learning Vietnamese in Saigon - intensive one to one teaching.

Pat Hosteter (Martin) in language training

 One of the most important things I learned in Vietnam was the wisdom of employing competent local staff in key positions... they already know the language and work with people from within the nuances of their own culture. This is Mr. Ninh, one of our valued colleagues in Vietnam Christian Service.

A man from Central Vietnam who would have had an accent different

from that of Saigon

We Had Dreams, then...

How can it be that it has been over 50 years since I met, and then married, that pretty dark eyed brunette named Judy? 

But it is true.  Judy and I celebrated our 50th wedding anniversary in Tucson, Arizona, in January with over 40 family and friends.  It was so perfect to be together on that beautiful sunny weekend, starting with a party at the Posada Lodge and Casitas.  The following are some comments I made at that event:

"We are truly blessed with your presence here today.  You are our family, friends and part of our community of love and support at many times and places over our lifetimes, both before and after we got married. Some of you were there from the beginning of our lives (like my older brother Vern and Judy's sister, Romell.  Others came into our lives over the years....

And so today we are here to celebrate with each other and with you. Thank you.. As an old beer commercial used to put it "It doesn't get any better than this". 

Psalm 128 says it well.. ..

Enjoy the blessing; Revel in the Goodness!

You shall eat the fruit of your own labours, ...

Your wife shall be like a fruitful vine in the heart of your house, and your children shall be like olive-shoots around about your table.

This is the blessing in store for the one who fears the Lord..  

We got an email from Mike Lockerby, a long time friend and for over 30 years the pastor of our home church, Holden Lutheran in Kenyon, MN.  Mike celebrated, officiated at and spoke at hundreds of marriages, anniversaries and funerals in that rural community over those many years..  all occasions to celebrate and reflect on miles-stones and the passing of time. 

He wrote:  "I always said at such anniversaries through the years that a good marriage is not only a blessing to the couple and family, but to the entire community.      We thank the  Lord God for your marriage and life together; for your children, and their children. 

The marital union you share is a most sacred and most serious (and joyous) union, established by God.  ........Your common life, which you enjoyed all over the world, continues now in Butte! -  and will be celebrated in Tucson! 

May your marriage of 50 years continue to be a steadfast witness and expression of Christ's spousal love for the Church".

Fifty years, INDEED!  Anyone who has come to a similar milestone of life, even to have lived this long, will tell you that it is hard to believe that the time has passed this fast....  For some reason I have a memory of Uncle Maynard saying something like that to Vern just after the birth of Mark, Vern and Donna's third child Mark, (who is here today, and is now in his 40s) ... "Enjoy him now, because you will not believe how fast he will grow up and how the years speed by".

Today, We have memories, pictures, and stories to share and tell - and the proof of a long life together right here in midst.  But most importantly we have siblings we grew up with, and  friends of many years who we first met in places like Minneapolis, Decorah, England, Ecuador and Peru, Canada, even Sheridan, Montana.  And we have the wonderful blessing of having our children, their spouses, and our grandchildren.  (except for 9 month old Colin who was sick, and his mother, Rachel)

In the beginning, we first met in the State Hospital in St Peter, Minnesota, (we were both working there, not patients - wow, was that a romantic setting!!)          

 There we started this relationship with a blank slate - and we had dreams.  Not specific plans so much as dreams, possibilities - and the possibilities seemed not constrained by boundaries.  Back in Kenyon the common way to ask a question for Minnesota Norwegians is to put "then" after the inquiry: Well, where are you going to live, then....?  What kind of work are you going to do, then..?  or dad would ask something like:      " What would a job like that pay, then ..? 

Well, as we moved from place to place and job to job, we had to ask those practical questions, but there were bigger and more important matters to consider, too.  Is this the right thing for us to do now?  (not always, is it the easy thing to do?)  And that principle has been true for so many of  you too ..., as we have witnessed your journeys and faithful service in so many places. (We had with us friends and family who had served long careers as social workers, pastors, teachers, missionaries, skilled craftsmen and nurses)

When we met we soon found that we shared a similar foundation, a base to build upon - to answer those questions about what to do with this life, and that foundation was our faith in Jesus Christ and our desire to discern and follow the will of God in our lives together.

 We started talking with each other about that from the start, and have been at it ever since, even though, the limitations have become more apparent with age. Perhaps we don't have as many dreams now but we have many happy memories and, yes, there are many possibilities yet ahead.  The journey is not over.  All of you have been and are an important part of the backdrop of our lives.  

Here's the guideline again - from Psalm 128:

Wedding dress that Judy "almost" still fits into.

"Happy are all who fear the Lord, who live according to God's will.

With best friend Marlyn Sundheim

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

At the party- daughter Lani, cousin Linda, me, grand daughter Leslie,

 

friend Marlyn, and sister Jean

 

 

 

With Judy's sister, Romell

With friends we first met in Peru in 1970

With our three(4) kids and five of our grands

 

Grand kids(& niece) hamming it up!!

Transitions

We're moving!  It is a process we have done many times before, but it is not easier because of experience.  Moving is a transition that forces us to sift through all our earthly and material possessions.  We made categories  and choices based on rather subjective criterion:  throw it, sell it, give it away, or pack it and move it.

Though we have downsized several times previously, we still have a rather large volume of "stuff" including many things collected over the years in the places where we traveled and lived.  So memories get stirred up as we handle these items and make decisions.  There are also  hundreds, if not thousands, of pictures, files, books, letters, pieces of art, along with a few family heirlooms.  

When we left Ecuador 22 years ago, we contracted a moving company to pack and ship our things.  We still have some of those shipping boxes and we chuckle as we see that many have the words "adornos y varios" written on the sides.  Adornos are the many artifacts, pictures, carvings, baskets, weavings, etc, that one buys to beautify the home.  We don't "need" any of them.  In fact we really don't have room on our walls and shelves for all of them, so some have been in boxes the last years.  But we are the only ones who have an emotional attachment to them.  Of the numerous boxes of these "treasures" we have either given away or sold (very cheaply), the new owners will not know the "stories" about them as we do.  Judy even went through the abundant supply of jewelry she has accumulated from many countries over the years and gave some of it away during our moving sale. 

We have perhaps shed about a quarter of our belongings these last few weeks, but as we continue to pack the rest, we are amazed and somewhat dismayed by the large amount we still have in our possession. 

Yet it is a good exercise to revive and share the memories, and without too much hesitation, let some of these things go.  As we grow older we gradually give up material things and focus more on the essentials .  We are mightily thankful that we don't live in need as we are aware of the hunger of millions around the world for food, security and peace.  

As I sit here on the first day of autumn in our old house in Sheridan, Montana, (soon to be vacated we think),  the lawn outside our window is slowly getting covered with yellow leaves falling from the large ash tree in our yard.  

It is a beautiful sight to see the transition of the season, as the trees give up their leaves, the grass stops growing, and the vegetable harvesting is being completed in our community garden and in the fields by local farmers and ranchers. 

I feel no envy of those who are rich, nor covet what is my neighbor's (8th commandment) - just thankful for what is most important in life - so far in good health, love of wife and family, the beauty of creation around us, and the grace of God in all things.