What are you doing here?

Do you remember the story of Elijah fleeing into the desert in fear after he was threatened by Jezebel?   He was a stressed and fearful man. The first night he stopped to rest under a broom tree and an angel of God provided him with food to sustain him on the journey which took him another40 days until he came to Mt. Horeb where went up on the mountain and lodged in a cave -  It was there that the word of the Lord came to him with the question “what are you doing here, Elijah?” and Elijah was told to go out on the mountain and stand before the Lord.

Then came the powerful wind that smashed rocks and trees… but we read, God was not in the wind; then the earthquake that shook the foundations of the very ground upon which he stood; then the fire – and only when it was quiet – in the silence – there was a light whisper … sometimes said to be the still small voice of God , and Elijah again hears the voice of God.. “What are you doing here Elijah?’ 

This is a good question –not only “what are you doing here, right now?”  but also, “What are you doing Here – with your life?’

I’d like to share with you three short snapshots from my own experience with the fire, the earthquake and the wind. 

Snapshot #1.  Fire

1967.  It’s early morning in a small village in the highlands of Vietnam.  Tension is in the air, people are scurrying down the usually quiet street that passes by our house. We inquire and find that a battle has erupted in the hills a few kilometers from town… We see people rushing out one end of town while large military trucks full of soldiers of the local militia.. made up of young Koho tribesmen, is speeding out the other direction toward the battle.   

The Koho people have suffered much from this war… and these are the people we have come to serve.  

We hear the deafening blast of big guns on the hill above us and small arms fire in the distance.  We go to a hill at the edge of town to observe.  Later screaming  jets fly overhead that drop their hellish load of napalm that creates great fire balls and the inferno consumes everything in its path. Then on the horizon we see dozens of helicopters advancing toward us and we hear the familiar “whop, whop, whop,” of the choppers ferrying more combatants to the scene.

The sounds of war and chaos continues throughout the day – but strangely, with darkness comes an eerie quietness… interrupted only by occasional bursts of gunfire from a jumpy sentry.  We sit in our house feeling vulnerable; praying and wondering about the death and destruction of this day, one single battle amongst many of this terrible war.  This was the silence after the fire – when God speaks to our numb and fearful hearts   The question comes to me from within… “what are you doing here, Jerry?   I barely hear the tentative response..  “you are here for a purpose”. 

And so the next morning I get up and step into the day to see what can be done… I go up the hill again … and there I see one of the military trucks returning, now with a gruesome cargo of bloodied bodies of Montangard soldiers - 30 - 40 of them… And I hear another sound of war… the awful wailing and crying of mothers, wives and children..   Maybe my purpose now is simply to be here.

 

The war was frequently nearby the normally peaceful village where we lived causing great disruption and suffering for the people - both Vietnamese and tribal.

Our team offered comfort and direct aid as possible to the Koho people - Here Betty, a Canadian public health nurse visits a Koho family with a sick child.

Snapshot #2.   Earthquake

Christmas, 1972.  We hear the news report as we drive down a street in Minneapolis. A huge earthquake has leveled the city of Managua, Nicaragua… thousands may have been killed, more injured and tens of thousands of newly homeless fleeing the burning city. We had experience with earthquakes before, in Peru.  Soon a call from New York… “will you go to Managua and mount the response of the churches to this huge humanitarian disaster?”  

Arriving a few days later I am driven from the airport through the rubble and wreckage of a destroyed city and in the coming days my heart is overwhelmed with the plight of so much human loss and pain – During those first days and nights I rush around trying to coordinate in the midst of such chaos. 

Then, sometimes in the quiet at night when I awaken to another tremor of the earth,  the only sound I hear is the beating of my fearful heart within.  Again the question comes in the silence - “what are you doing here, Jerry?  

 And in the light of day, as I join with a dedicated group of Nicaraguan Christians, we proceed on… slowly but surely mounting our response – “We are here to be Your hands, O Lord – give us strength and sustenance for the journey ahead".  

 

 Together we build an organization for service to the people of Nicaragua, an organization that has lasted until this day.

In Latin America an earthquake can bring down thousands of buildings in a matter of seconds. This is the destroyed city of Huarmey, Peru, where I worked. This earthquake, May 1970 killed over 60,000 people.  The Managua earthquake of December, 1972 killed an estimated 28,000. In complex humanitarian emergencies the Church needs to respond quickly, but more importantly accompany the people to rebuild long after.

Snapshot #3.   The Wind

1974: Hurricane Fifi, one of the most devastating hurricanes to ever hit Central America, devastates  the north coast of Honduras.  We were living in Nicaragua at the time and when we heard the news of this disaster my friend Peter said, “let’s load up the van with as many bags of rice and beans as we can carry and head up there”.  

 We did just that. But when we saw the destruction that the wind and rain had wrought on the lives of tens of thousands of people we are a bit overwhelmed.  We knew our offering was tiny in comparison to the need.  But we already knew that - that wasn’t the point.   

By this time in our life’s work we had had enough experience with wars, earthquakes and grinding poverty to know that what was most needed was to stand alongside people after the storm, or in the midst of poverty and say we were there to help… not just an immediate response and quick fix, but for the long haul.  We tell them that it will not be easy, but we are here to accompany you and your churches and communities. "You can count on it". 

Honduras is one of the poorest countries in Latin America.  The Church has accompanied the poorest of the poor through long term projects such as those of Lutheran World Relief and Heifer International, two of the organizations I had the good fortune to work for many years.

Finally, a thought about living our faith boldly, but at the same time with humility.    

Sometimes the prompting of the Spirit calls us to confront the overwhelming needs of the world and we may feel like retreating and going into a cave.  It is probably a normal and good thing to be wandering around in the wilderness for awhile –times when we listen to discern God’s purpose.

 But, as in the case of Elijah, we may need to find that quiet place of rest (under a broom tree), and in the silence after the storm ask God direction and courage to move ahead. We will need

sustenance for the journey ahead. Whether facing the storms and fires of an humanitarian disaster or a personal crisis and need, or that of someone we know, we still can hear that question, "What are you doing here?"

When that question came to me so often, “what are you doing here, Jerry?” – the fact was that God already knew the answer to that question… but God may have been putting me to a test to struggle with the question myself and articulate my own response, and then, with the leading of the Spirit, move into the future to do God's work the best I could. 

Come to Me, all who are weary and heavy-laden, and I will give you rest. Take My yoke upon you and learn from Me, for I am gentle and humble in heart, and YOU WILL FIND REST FOR YOUR SOULS.… Mathew 11: 28,29

Breathe Deeply

I practice a routine called "Stretch and Pray" first thing most mornings. Murray Finck, the author of a little book by this title, gives guidance for a series of stretches and prayer positions that help get the accumulated stiffness and aches out of the body. This is a good way to get centered to start the day - appreciating life, turning attention to God; thankful for this new day and mindful of the needs of others.. Very importantly, along with each stretch and prayer position, Finck counsels the practitioner  - "don't forget to breathe".

Seems obvious, of course, that we shouldn't forget to breathe. After all, inhaling and exhaling air is a basic necessity for life.  But I find that remembering to breathe deeply can help turn attention to the fact that I am alive and for this I am thankful.  The words for breath and spirit are very interconnected in Hebrew and Christian spiritual traditions.  To breathe means we are living and our breath is a gift from God; something we have in common with every living being.

The phrase from an old hymn comes to mind, "Breathe on me Breath of God, Fill me with life anew"

I have been with several loved ones during their last days and hours on earth and have noticed how shallow their breathing became as life ebbed away and they "gave up the ghost".

These scattered thoughts came into my mind the other day when we got an email from an old friend and colleague from our long ago days in Vietnam.  Bill Herod, who has lived in both Vietnam and Cambodia for many years, has great compassion for the people of Southeast Asia and has dedicated his life to service and peacemaking.  I copy his short reflection here with his permission:

      "Years ago in Viet-Nam, I was helping out at the little hospital in Tam-Ky after a ferocious battle. The     place was overflowing with casualties. 

     Suddenly, a nurse and I saw a man rushing toward us carrying a young woman. She was unconscious, but still breathing.  We put the 17-year-old on the ground and began CPR. As the nurse did the compressions, I started mouth-to-mouth. 

     An odd calm settled in as we went through the procedures. I filled her lungs with my breath, then felt the breath rush out against my cheek.

     After a few moments, the nurse sat back and said, “She’s gone.”  “But she’s still breathing,” I protested. “No,” the nurse countered, “you’re breathing. She’s not.”

     Whose breath was it I felt on my cheek? Hers? Mine? Yours? It was ours. All of us are inextricably interconnected. We are surrounded by birth, life and death. We all breathe, but whose breath is it? It is ours and that of all those who have gone before and all those who will follow.

Each breath we take is part of the whole mystery of creation. Breathe with care."

Bill Herod
Sen Monorom, Mondulkiri, Cambodia

My aunt, Minerva Aaker, took her last breath on March 15 this year at the age of 95 - the last of all my uncles and aunts. Here she is with my sister Jean and me a year ago.

Just two weeks later on March 28th, our grandson, Colin Aaker, took his first breath as he came into this world in Albuquerque, New Mexico.

For everything there is an appointed time ... a time to be born and a time to die...                  Eccleiastes 3:1

Colin with grandma Judy

Genevieve's advice

We recently spent a weekend in Amarillo in the pan handle of Texas - think drought, strong wind, flat land and the odor of feed lots.  The reason for the visit was to spend time with an old friend, Carolyn Kelly, whom we first met many years ago in Peru. 

One afternoon we visited Genevieve Olson Miller, a 95 year old widow who lives alone in a small house on a farm about 30 miles from Amarillo.  Out at her farm that day the wind was blowing great billows of dirt into the air, bringing to mind images I have seen of how that part of the country looked on an average day during the dust bowl back in the 1930s.

Genevieve was born and grew up on a farm near Oslo, Texas - a town settled by Norwegians in the early 1900s.  Back in the first decades of the century ads were published in papers in the North enticing Norwegians to visit and buy land in Oslo in order to establish a prosperous Norwegian community and congregate with the local Lutheran church in the area.  Now the population is much reduced but I understand there is still a small Lutheran church in Oslo.  My grandfather, Olaf Aaker, went with a neighbor by train to Texas to check it out - about 100 years ago.  Luckily he didn't bite on the sales pitch and came home to the rich soil of his Minnesota farm.  That was the longest and only major trip he ever took.  

Genevieve is a well read and engaging personality.  Upon entering her house one is struck by the large number of books piled high on tables and stacked on book shelves.  She keeps up on theology, politics, environmental issues, and current events - local and global.  Within the first minute of our conversation she was into a discussion about water and the dire situation the country is facing given prolonged droughts and the depletion of the aquifer.

She had just read Lester Brown's latest book,  Full Planet, Empty Plates: The New Geopolitics of Food Scarcity (2012).  She needs a magnifying glass to read these days, but she said she finished reading this book in four hours.  I have read some of Lester Brown's books, but have not read this one nor have I been good at keeping up with global issues recently -  Certainly I would not be able to compete with Genevieve's reading program these days. 

After about an hour of conversation Genevieve invited us to partake in coffee and a piece of delicious homemade chocolate cake and continue talking around the table.  She is very distraught about the dismal level of civil discourse in the country at present, and the lack of long term thinking for the common good. 

I told her I am preparing a talk on the topic of living our faith boldly in daily life in the modern culture.  I asked her advice on how I might broach the subject.  With hardly a pause she suggested I might consider Martin Luther's explanation of the eighth commandment.  Then she proceeded to quote it from memory, just as she had learned it some 80 years ago in confirmation class.  Wow!

The 8th commandment is ....

You shall not bear false witness against your neighbor

What does this mean?  (Luther's explanation)

We should fear and love God that we may not deceitfully belie, betray, slander, or defame our neighbor, but defend him, [think and] speak well of him, and put the best construction on everything.

A bit of an updated translation of Luther might read like this:

We should fear and love God, so that we do not lie about, betray or slander our neighbors, but excuse them, speak well of them, and put the best construction on everything they do.

If we followed this commandment wouldn;t we be in a better place politically and religiously in this country?

In a recent article about the ten commandments Pastor Peter Marty wrote, "However feebly we may grasp the commandments, they are worth fresh attention in our congregations and households.  We can keep them from becoming artifacts of a distant past."

Genevieve certainly gave me something to think about and I went back to re-read and think about the ten commandments, something I haven't done for a long time.  There is much value and practicality for daily life in the wisdom of the ages, even though many people in the post-modern age don't know much about the ten commandments.  Or care.

Indeed, I found much to think about and appreciate in Genevieve's wisdom and advice.

 

Genevieve

In the Silence

This week we went to a place called Flathead Lutheran Bible Camp here in Montana.  It is an incredibly beautiful retreat center set on the shores of a gorgeous lake, framed by immense snow-capped mountains.  Such places prompt a movement within us as we say things like, “awesome” or “isn’t this beautiful?”  We search for words to form a prayer of appreciation.  But often we don’t find our words to be adequate.  

In the summer this place is filled with the sounds and movement of hundreds of campers and staff, making it a joyful and active place to nurture young people in the faith AND experience lots of fun – accompanied by the sounds of clapping, talking, singing, laughing, squealing, and prayer – even loud praying, and maybe even crying. 

But this week was different for our small group who gathered for an “Adult Spirituality Retreat”.  We had the place to ourselves and we were there, at least in part, to set aside some time from the loud sounds and demands of the world – at least for a couple of days.

So in the first session on Monday morning a dozen of us sat in silence for twenty minutes. That doesn’t sound like much, does it?  But, have you tried twenty minutes of intentional silence in a group lately?  In a normal setting, say a worship service, just a few minutes of silence makes many people uncomfortable. 

This was a prayer method called “centering prayer” in which one is prompted to pray without words, trying to brush away the distractions of the “to do” lists or other concerns circulating in our minds. 

Praying without words?  That sounds counter-intuitive to conventional approach to prayer – for we usually pray with words directed to the divine presence asking for help, intervention, direction, or giving thanks.  We do all the talking and not much listening.

During those hours we experienced silence together as well as quiet meditation on solitary walks – (several walked the Labyrinth).  After the time in centering prayer I asked the group members to comment on and talk about the experience of silence. Some talked, but at least two participants later said the experience was such a deep and personal time with God, they had no words – in fact they didn’t want to talk then.

We had among us some who are “experienced prayers” and others who are shy about praying out loud.  One session was a meditation on Romans 8:26-28 where we read that “we don’t know how to pray as we ought, but the Spirit intercedes with sighs too deep for words”.  Intuitively we know this to be true.

Later our friend Janis Hansen, who attended the retreat sent this poem:

PRAYING

 It doesn't have to be

the blue iris, it could be
weeds in a vacant lot, or a few
small stones;

just pay attention, then patch
a few words together and don’t try
to make them elaborate, this isn't
a contest but the doorway
into thanks, and a silence in which
another voice may speak.

 ~ Mary Oliver, from her collection: "Thirst," (Beacon Press, 2006)

 

 

The Wood Bank: Faith in Action

Last August I wrote a post titled "Why I need to keep involved in the needs of the world".. It is about Father Harry Neeley and the wood-bank ministry he started here in Montana, a project in which I do some volunteer work.  You can see the piece by clicking on 2013 to the right and go to August posts.  

This is a bit of a follow up.  A story and video report on the Tri Parish Wood Bank has been posted on the website of the Episcopal News Service.  You should be able to see it by clicking here:

 http://episcopaldigitalnetwork.com/ens/2014/03/27/wood-banks-unique-ministry-warms-those-left-in-the-montana-cold/. 

The author also posted it on their Facebook page here:

https://www.facebook.com/pages/Episcopal-News-Service/260131260715544 

Father Harry, who is now over eighty years old and works hard at this project every single day, is a good example of putting faith to work for those living in poverty..

Where has all the humor gone?

We worshiped at Gold Hill Lutheran Church in Butte (Montana) yesterday where we heard a good sermon about the Lutheran take on baptism and the need for daily repentance and renewal.  A good Lenten homily, but rather sobering.

The pastor at Gold Hill has a good sense of humor though.  He is Tim Christensen, the same one who gained national - maybe world - attention when a video of him went viral a couple of  months ago.  We caught it several times on network national news. It was put on YouTube as well.  By Monday evening it had something like a million u-tube hits.  (not sure of the number, but lots) 
You can see it here:  http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=EbqVPt8zzWQ

 It turns out Pastor Tim pulled a bit of a 'hail Mary' play to show his love for the 49ers football team as reported by Mashable.  His favorite team, the San Francisco 49ers, were in a playoff game that day.  For those of you who don't follow professional football - the National Football League plays almost all of their games on Sunday and the starting time of games coincides with traditional church time in a large part of the country.  It's the reason many would give for not going to church, I guess.  Millions follow it "religiously".

While the short sermon and NFL passion were real, Tim wanted people to know it was all in fun, and after he made his hasty exist, he returned to the sanctuary and did a full worship service with liturgy and communion.  So, most people just got a good laugh out of it.  

But not all.  By Tuesday he was getting reactions from people around the country.  People called the church or put comments on Face-Book calling him some rather nasty names - said he was an abomination, sacrilegious, a disgrace, (and worse) etc, etc.  They were not interested in talking about it and listening... Mary, the secretary who took lots of the calls, said, "they mostly screamed into the phone". 

I've seen surveys asking non-church goers why they don't go to church.  Often one of the responses is that people in the church are too critical and humorless.  Well, apparently there's some truth to that in some quarters of the church. 

Talking to Pastor Tim yesterday, I asked him how that criticism affected him.  He said it put him to tears a couple of times, especially the criticism from people who said they were Christians.  His family told him he really needed to stop even looking at the comments.  However, he didn't get negatives from either his congregation or colleague Lutheran pastors.   "Over all it was about four positives to one negative on the calls", he said.   

Which brings me to the point about humor. I have been thinking about humor and laughter lately after I caught a little bit of a conversation on radio the other day. A scientist who studies the brain was talking about the positive health effects of laughter and humor.  He made the comment that laughter is not mentioned much in the Bible... He said only 29 times in the old Testament - and most of those were negative - like sarcasm and such.  I didn't check to see if that is a fact. I had never really thought much about it.  He also said it is not clear from the Gospel texts if Jesus ever laughed.  I have to think he did, as least the scriptures record the words Joy and Blessed a lot (sometimes blessed is translated as happy). 

An example:

These things I have spoken to you, that my joy may be in you, and that your joy may be full. John 15:11

I guess if we are full of joy we would be bound to laugh, right?

And I like this verse from the Old Testament:

Go, eat your food with gladness, and drink your wine with a joyful heart, for it is now that God favors what you do.  Ecclesiastes 9:7  (NIV)

What do you think?  What part does humor and laughter play in Christian life and worship?  

Having a good laugh with the grand kids