What will you be doing when you are 98?

We received many greetings and Christmas letters from friends and family this past season, but none quite as interesting as one from Brynhild Rowberg, a cousin (several times removed) on the Aaker side of the family.  Her letter got me to think about how to relish and enjoy life - way into old age.

Margaret Mead said, "If you associate enough with older people who do enjoy their lives, who are not stored away in any golden ghettos, you will gain a sense of continuity and of the possibility for a full life."

I thought I would share Brynie's letter here.  She wrote:

In August, I observed, not celebrated, my 98th birthday at three successive, cheerful luncheons with friends and relatives.

But, you may ask, what does one do, at 98, with the waking hours?

When I asked this question of my colleague, Roberta Meyerkort, retired to her home town of Port Gibson, MS, she replied" "I go to funerals."  So do I.  This sounds lugubrious, but at age 98 it is not.  Almost all of the deceased have lived long, happy, productive lives.  I remember the wisdom of the late actor, John Gielgud, and another expert, my dear mother.  The former once observed:"Memorial services are the cocktail parties of the geriatric set".  

My mother, having attended the funeral of her friend, Henrietta Larson, remarked: "It's not a nice thing to say, but I had a very good time at the begravelse".  (Norwegian for funeral or burial).  Henrietta had gotten a Ph.D from Columbia in the 1920's, rare for a woman, gone on to be the first woman on the faculty of Harvard School of Business.  No wonder mother enjoyed herself talking to Henrietta's many friends!

I help provide programs for the entertainment and, we like to think, enlightenment of our fellow residents at Parkview.  I've spoken on the history of Northfield (Minnesota), using lectures I prepared some years ago for a course I gave at the Northfield Elder Collegiums.  Notable people with a Northfield connection:  John North, abolitionist and founder of a least three cities; Thorstein Veblen whose phrase "conspicuous consumption" was never more applicable than it is today, Jesse James, who, alas, needs no introduction, and Gen. Adelbert Ames, Civil War general and Reconstruction Governor of Mississippi, as well as grandfather of the late George Ames Plimpton of the Paris Review. 

Other lectures were on the eleven months in 1968 which I spent involved in the negotiations which freed the crew of the USS PUEBLO, on living behind the Iron Curtain (Prague, 1950-52) and on spending Easter in Macedonia in 1954, etc.

A third devourer of time: being one of four moderators of a weekly discussion of current events.  Attendance is never below twelve, often above twenty.  I prepare for this by reading "The Economist" and "The New York Times".

Fourth Occasional trips.  No airplane travel anymore, alas, I don't really drive out of town these days.  But relatives fill the gap.  We've visited the Minneapolis Institute of Art and the Museum of Russian Art, the latter has had amazing shows on the Romanovs, Russian in World War II, icons and samovars.  (she goes on to tell of other day trips around the area of Minnesota and Wisconsin)

Fifth: Reading just for fun.. one is "The Shepherd' s Way, by James Rebanks.

Last Christmas Eve the Petersons took me to the service at Valley Grove Church, a truly picturesque church set on a hill, surrounded by fields and forests.  We enjoyed candle-light, music of organ, flute, violin, all played by retired professionals, a glowing tree and a church full of people whom I know or wished I knew…..

Note:  Brynie, as usual, also voiced some opinions on the current political scene..  (she is a life-long Minnesota liberal), but I will stop with this…  Enough to think about as I proceed through my 70s, and maybe even into my 90s.  She gives a hint on how to prepare for our own lives in advanced age… Indeed, we often hear that we should live to it's fullest to the end!

 

I am not there yet, but I hope my brain and heart are as alive and actively enjoying life when (if) I get to 98 as are Brynie's…  What about you? 

Aaker family members gathered at the farm where I grew up near Kenyon, Minnesota. The picture was taken in June, 2009 and was the last time we gathered at the farm, which had been sold.  Seated are my uncles Leonard, then age 98, Maynard, 92, Brynhild, 92, and aunt Minerva, 91.  All are now deceased with the exception of Brynie.